I would like to share a double synchronicity. I call it double because engaging the I Ching in the first place is an act synchronicity. Over a period of time spanning several weeks, I had asked for counsel concerning two different relationships that were not going well. In the first case I was feeling rejected and did not know how to handle the situation or what was happening in the mind of the person in question.
In the second situation I felt worn down by a long string of hopeless miscommunications that were going no where. In my old age my new mantra is: “Time is more precious than diamonds.” And the latter series of communications felt like the diamonds were regressing back to coal.
The responses I got for both relationships; one asking what was going on with the other person and the second question, how should I handle my discontent with this person? My feeling was that I simply did not want to bother with the coals, or dying embers of what I thought had been.
For the friend who was ignoring me I received hexagram 30, The Clinging Fire with three lines that changed to hexagram 41, Decrease. I interpreted this to mean that the fire had gone out between us. In my own I Ching Prescriptions, the second line advised me to make some art. That is always good advice for me no matter what the circumstances. The other two lines (see below) helped me to simply accept what is and not fret about it.
When I was pondering how to handle the unsatisfying relationship with the other party I threw the coins and got the same result. I knew this was right for me; that I should just accept what is and allow the relationship to decrease without feeling guilty. I like my own advice and Wilhelm hit the mark in the 3rd line where he says:
Here the end of the day has come. The light of the setting sun calls to mind the fact that life is transitory and conditional. Caught in this external bondage, men are usually robbed of their inner freedom as well. The sense of the transitoriness of life impels them to uninhibited revelry in order to enjoy life while it lasts, or else they yield to melancholy and spoil the precious time by lamenting the approach of old age. Both attitudes are wrong. To the superior man it makes no difference whether death comes early or late. He cultivates himself, awaits his allotted time, and in this way secures his fate.
Of course what struck me most about the response I received from my questions, asked about different people at different times, gave the exact same answer. In my mind, the relationships were so different in content and feeling, yet the answer was the same. I am always in awe of the odds of how synchronicity happens with the I Ching and is what has kept me going back for guidance for so many years.
Yes, the fire had gone out of both relationships and the I Ching’s wonderful way of pointing to accepting “the transitoriness of life” helped me to accept what is and not waste the preciousness of time by any kind of lamenting.